Dancing With the Stars has become a hit show thanks to charming stars and talented professional ballroom dancers. March 17th is the start of the sixth season, and the line up has been announced. Here are the pairings, alphabetized by surname of the celebrity.

  1. Mario Barrett and Karina Smirnoff.
  2. Adam Carolla and Julianne Hough.
  3. Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke.
  4. Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough.
  5. Steve Guttenberg and Anna Trebunskaya.
  6. Penn Jillette and Kym Johnson.
  7. Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez.
  8. Priscilla Presley and Louis Van Amstel.
  9. Monica Seles and Johnathon Roberts.
  10. Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska.
  11. Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani.
  12. Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas.

Oscar-winning Marlee Matlin will be making history, I guess, considering she’s deaf and cannot actually hear the music she’ll be dancing to. Priscilla “Morticia” Presley will only be interesting if she confirms that she drinks the blood of virgins to maintain her new eery but youthful goth look (considering she’s nearly 63).

So with the exception of Matlin, whom I’ve liked for a long time, there’s absolutely no one in this lineup that excites me. (Fortunately, many of my fave professional dancers are back on again.) A shame really, since I love this show.